If you have been carrying something heavy for a long time, something that talk therapy has not quite reached, you may have come across the term EMDR and wondered whether it could help you. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. That is a mouthful, and the name does not exactly make it sound approachable. So let me explain what it actually is, in plain language, the way I would describe it to a new client sitting across from me.

I use EMDR in my practice because I have seen it help people move through things they had started to believe they would just have to live with forever. Old memories that still sting, patterns that keep repeating, a sense of being stuck even when life looks fine from the outside. It is not magic, and it is not right for everyone, but for many people it opens a door that other approaches could not find.

Key Points

EMDR is a structured, evidence-based therapy originally developed for trauma that is now used for anxiety, grief, and other distressing experiences.
It uses bilateral stimulation, most often side-to-side eye movements, to help the brain process memories that feel frozen or overwhelming.
You do not have to talk through every detail of a difficult memory for EMDR to be effective.
Research suggests EMDR can be as effective as other leading therapies for post-traumatic stress, and sometimes works more quickly.
EMDR is one of two main approaches I use, alongside Internal Family Systems, because the two methods work well together.

What EMDR Looks Like vs. What It Feels Like

From the outside in

What it looks like

Following a therapist's fingers back and forth
Sitting quietly with eyes moving or tapping
Not talking much during processing sets

It looks almost too simple to do anything.

What it feels like

Old memories losing their emotional charge
Noticing the past without being pulled into it
A quiet shift, sometimes hard to put into words

Something I carried for years feels further away now.

If you have ever felt like a memory has more power over you than it should, that gap between what happened and how it still feels today is exactly what EMDR is designed to address. Talk with me about whether EMDR fits what you are carrying

What is EMDR, and where did it come from?

EMDR was developed in the late 1980s by psychologist Francine Shapiro. She noticed that certain eye movements seemed to reduce the distress she felt when thinking about difficult thoughts, and she began researching whether the same was true for others. Over the following decades, EMDR grew into a full eight-phase therapy protocol with a substantial body of research behind it.

Today it is recognized by the World Health Organization, the American Psychological Association, and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs as an effective treatment for post-traumatic stress. Research suggests it compares well to other leading approaches, and in some studies it has shown results in fewer sessions (Hudays et al., 2022). That said, how long treatment takes depends entirely on the person and what they are working through.

It is worth knowing that EMDR is not only for people who have experienced a single dramatic event. Many of the people I work with come in carrying what I would describe as smaller-t trauma: years of feeling not good enough, a childhood where emotions were not welcome, relationships that chipped away at their sense of self. EMDR can help with those experiences too.

How does EMDR actually work?

The short answer is that no one knows for certain, but there are good working theories. The most widely discussed is that bilateral stimulation, meaning rhythmic, alternating left-right input to the brain, activates a process similar to what happens during REM sleep. During REM sleep, the brain consolidates and integrates the day's experiences. EMDR may do something similar for memories that never got processed properly the first time.

When something overwhelming happens, the memory can get stored in a raw, unfinished way. The sights, sounds, body sensations, and beliefs attached to it stay tangled together, which is why a smell or a tone of voice can bring the whole thing rushing back years later. EMDR seems to help the brain finish the job, filing the memory as something that happened rather than something still happening.

During a session, I will ask you to hold a target memory lightly in mind while following a bilateral stimulus. That might be my fingers moving side to side, a light bar, or gentle tapping on your knees or hands. We pause periodically and I ask what you noticed. You do not have to narrate everything. You just notice, and we keep going.

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The eight phases: what EMDR therapy actually involves

EMDR is not something we jump into in the first session. The protocol has eight phases, and the early ones are about building safety and understanding your history. We spend time identifying what you want to work on, developing internal resources you can use to stay regulated, and making sure you feel steady enough to approach difficult material.

The middle phases are where the bilateral stimulation comes in. We identify a specific memory or belief, notice where you feel it in your body, and begin processing. The later phases are about checking that the work has settled, strengthening more positive beliefs about yourself, and making sure nothing feels unfinished before we close a session.

I never want you to leave a session feeling worse than when you arrived. Pacing matters. We can slow down, shift focus, or use grounding techniques at any point. You are always in charge of what we do and do not approach.

Who can EMDR help?

EMDR was first studied with people experiencing post-traumatic stress, and that research base is strong (Hudays et al., 2022; Moreno-Alcázar et al., 2017). But in practice, it is useful for a wider range of experiences: anxiety, phobias, grief, difficult relationship patterns, low self-worth, and the kind of chronic self-criticism that follows people no matter how much they achieve.

Many of my clients would not describe themselves as having trauma in the traditional sense. They come in because they keep reacting in ways they do not fully understand, or because they feel held back by beliefs about themselves that they know, logically, are not entirely true. EMDR can help trace those patterns back to their roots and loosen the grip they have.

It is not the right fit for everyone. Some people do better starting with more talk-based or stabilization-focused work before approaching memory processing. That is something we would figure out together in a first conversation, without any pressure.

How EMDR fits with my approach as a therapist

I trained as a massage therapist and acupuncturist before becoming a psychotherapist, so the idea that the body holds onto experience has always made sense to me. EMDR fits naturally with that understanding. When a memory is processed, clients often notice shifts in their body first, a loosening in the chest, a breath that comes more easily, before they can even find words for what changed.

I also use Internal Family Systems, or IFS, which is a way of working with the different parts of ourselves that developed to protect us, sometimes in ways that no longer serve us. The two approaches work well together. IFS can help us understand which part of you holds a difficult memory and what that part needs before we approach it with EMDR. Together, they tend to create something that feels thorough rather than rushed.

My work has a mind-body thread running through it. I pay attention to what you notice in your body during sessions, not because I am doing bodywork, but because the body often knows something before the thinking mind catches up.

What to expect if you are curious about starting

If you are considering EMDR, the first step is just a conversation. I offer a free 20-minute video consultation so you can ask questions, get a sense of how I work, and decide whether it feels like a good fit. There is no obligation and no pressure.

I work online with adults in New York, New Jersey, and Vermont. I am out-of-network and provide superbills so you can seek reimbursement from your insurance if your plan allows. Sessions are done by video, which most clients find works just as well as in-person, including for EMDR.

If you have been wondering whether what you are carrying could be lighter, I would be glad to talk with you about it.

Managing It vs. Working Through It

What changes with EMDR therapy

Managing on your own

Avoiding reminders and hoping it fades
Noticing the same reactions keep showing up
Feeling like you should be over it by now

I know it is in the past, but it does not feel that way.

After EMDR work

The memory is still there, but it no longer pulls you under
Reactions feel more proportionate to what is actually happening
A quieter, steadier relationship with your own history

It happened. And I am okay now.

EMDR does not erase what happened, but for many people it changes the relationship between the past and the present in a way that is hard to describe until you feel it. Book a free consultation to talk about your experience

You don't have to figure this out alone

A free 20-minute video consultation is a calm, no-pressure way to start, and to see if we are a good fit.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What is EMDR therapy used for?

EMDR was originally developed for post-traumatic stress and has the strongest research base there, but therapists use it for anxiety, phobias, grief, low self-worth, and difficult patterns rooted in past experiences. If you are not sure whether your situation fits, that is a good question to bring to a first consultation.

Does EMDR actually work, or is it just eye movements?

Research suggests EMDR is an effective treatment for post-traumatic stress, comparing well to other leading therapies in multiple studies (Hudays et al., 2022). The bilateral stimulation is one part of a structured eight-phase protocol, not the whole of it. Why it works is still being studied, but the evidence that it does work for many people is solid.

Do I have to talk about every detail of a traumatic memory in EMDR?

No, and this is one of the things people find most relieving about EMDR. You hold the memory in mind and notice what comes up, but you do not have to narrate it in detail. Some people find this makes it easier to approach things they have never been able to talk about.

How is EMDR different from regular talk therapy?

Traditional talk therapy often works through insight and understanding, helping you make sense of your experiences by discussing them. EMDR works more directly with the way a memory is stored, using bilateral stimulation to help the brain process it differently. Many people find the two approaches complement each other, and I often weave in conversation alongside EMDR work.

How many EMDR sessions will I need?

It varies a great deal depending on what you are working on, your history, and how you respond to the approach. Some people notice shifts in a handful of sessions; others work over a longer period. I do not think it is honest to give a number without knowing your situation, and I would rather talk through that with you directly than guess.

Sources

Hudays, A., Gallagher, R., Hazazi, A., Arishi, A., & Bahari, G. (2022). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing versus cognitive behavior therapy for treating post-traumatic stress disorder: A systematic review and meta-analysis. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 19(24), 16836. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph192416836

Moreno-Alcázar, A., Treen, D., Valiente-Gómez, A., Sio-Eroles, A., Pérez, V., Amann, B. L., & Radua, J. (2017). Efficacy of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing in children and adolescent with post-traumatic stress disorder: A meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 1750. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01750

Colleen Canyon, LCSW is a psychotherapist based in Jersey City, NJ who works with adults online across New York, New Jersey, and Vermont. She specializes in anxiety, relationship patterns, life transitions, and self-doubt, using EMDR and Internal Family Systems alongside a mind-body perspective shaped by her earlier training as a massage therapist and acupuncturist. She offers a free 20-minute video consultation for people considering therapy.

This article is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized clinical care or a diagnosis. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or seek immediate help.

What Is EMDR Therapy? A Plain-Language Guide